Hey Boob Shirley
From Wazoo In Effigy
Hey Boob Shirley
Where “Municipal Tongue Clamp” turned its satire on institutions, this one turns it on a single sweaty man, and the comedy here isn’t in spite of the craft, it’s built from it. Rose sets a marimba walking figure loose over a broken-waltz pulse at a brisk clip, and the arrangement earns its jokes with timing: the stop-start accents on ‘Peripheral. Accidental. Purely educational’ land like a man caught red-handed, and the whole thing pivots on that guilty deadpan of a grown man who’ll ‘study grout / Like what he noticed four feet before.’ The mock-anthropology of verse two (‘First you cover for the weather. Then you decorate the hide’) is where the writing sharpens into something Randy Newman would recognize, an unreliable narrator dressing up base instinct as social theory. The 5/4 instrumental break is the record’s real flex, marimba restating the motif in a 3+2 stagger while the flute exaggerates the strut and the guitar answers crooked, before the final bar snaps abruptly back to a straight-4/4 chorus. If the bit runs slightly long, the outro’s catalog of ‘feathers, beads, buckles, buttons’ testing your patience before the final ‘Nice grout, by the way’ pays it off, the way a good closing line pays off a shaggy joke. Proof Rose can make a novelty conceit hold real musical weight, and one more voice in the album’s gallery of men caught mid-excuse.
Lyrics
What a lovely woman… There’s the glance There’s the second glance There’s the third one you disguise As a sudden deep concern about The exit sign behind her eyes Then the posture Then the coughing Then the fascinating floor Nothing makes a grown man study grout Like what he noticed four feet before Peripheral Accidental Purely educational Two whole seconds later— deeply constitutional Hey boob Shirley Why you staring at me Hey boob Shirley They’re real, naturally It’s all about reaction A stunning self reflection It’s primal Compelling Flatly overwhelming So don’t pretend that you don’t want the attention that you crave Don’t just free them partly Free the whole thing First you cover for the weather Then you decorate the hide Tie a shell around the ankle put a little color on the side Raise it Shape it Paint it Pad it Make a feature where you had it If the signal gets attention then the signal gets repeated And it worked Somewhere back before the fitting room before the label, before the brand somebody added something extra and somebody else said “Damn.” Decorative Competitive Highly reproductive Slightly exaggerated— surprisingly effective Hey boob Shirley Why you staring at me Hey boob Shirley Checking out the competition, I see It’s all about reaction A little self-comparison It’s primal Compelling Flatly overwhelming You can call it taste or fashion or whatever keeps you brave But if beauty wasn’t working we’d have stopped it in the cave Don’t just free them partly Free the whole thing So there you have it A little color A little lift A little something nature apparently forgot to gift Three beats for displaying Two beats for the scan Nobody wrote the handbook— but everybody understands You can call it presentation You can call it social art But somewhere underneath the tailoring the monkey got a head start
And apparently he brought accessories
HEY BOOB SHIRLEY Why you staring at me HEY BOOB SHIRLEY Checking out the competition, I see It’s all about reaction Mutual inspection It’s primal Compelling Flatly overwhelming You can dress it up as culture You can file it under taste But biology keeps peeking through the buttons at the waist So don’t pretend that you don’t want the attention that you crave Don’t just free them partly Free the whole thing (Free the whole thing.) (The whole thing.) Yes, Shirley We noticed
So after several thousand generations of feathers beads buckles buttons padding plunging necklines raised heels lowered hems raised hems and the occasional strategically placed shiny object we have reached the highly advanced conclusion that people enjoy being looked at— provided they approve of who is looking And the rest of us will continue pretending we were reading the exit sign
Nice grout, by the way