What To Do With Me

Lyrics

No distractions Just me (oh)

When I don't reach for the noise The noise reaches for me Old conversations, old mistakes Stuff I thought I "moved past," suddenly awake I sit on the floor like I'm waiting for someone But nobody's coming, and that's not the tragedy The tragedy is I don't know how to sit With the person I am when I'm not being busy

I didn't know how loud I was inside Until I stopped covering it up I didn't know how much I was avoiding With jokes and plans and "one more" stuff I keep wishing for a reset button Like I can start as someone new But it's just me in the quiet and - I don't know what to do with me

I try to read, but the words slide off I try to walk, but I feel watched by my own thoughts I stare at the trees and they don't fix it They just stand there, honest, and I can't mimic Then it hits me: I've been afraid of being small Afraid of being ordinary, afraid of being left So I stay connected, stay informed, stay "up" So I never have to ask what I actually want

I didn't know how loud I was inside Until I stopped covering it up I didn't know how much I was avoiding With jokes and plans and "one more" stuff I keep wishing for a reset button Like I can start as someone new But it's just me in the quiet and - I don't know what to do with me

Maybe this is the real feed The one I've been skipping The fear, the shame, the sad parts The parts that need listening So I'm not going to fix it tonight I'm not going to win at healing I'm just going to sit here And let it be what it's been

I didn't know how loud I was inside Until I stopped covering it up I didn't know how much I was avoiding With jokes and plans and "one more" stuff I keep wishing for a reset button Like I can start as someone new But it's just me in the quiet and - I don't know what to do with me

(whispered) Stay Just stay