Not Sure This Is Me

Lyrics

I wake up and the room is bright before the sun Not from a window - just the little glowing one Headlines, group chats, someone's photo of their lunch And my brain goes, "Yeah, that's life," like it's not too much I've got a million tiny takes I never asked to hold I call it being "in the loop," but I'm just being pulled Even my quiet has a soundtrack playing low Like I'm scared of what I'll hear if it goes

It's weird what starts to feel like home Even when it's wearing you down I don't remember choosing this I just remember it being around

I thought this was just how people are Always half here, always reaching I thought the buzz was my own heart But it's the room that keeps speaking If I'm honest, I don't know who I am When the screen goes dark and it's only me I'm trying to tell the difference now - I'm not sure this is me

I scroll past somebody's joy like it's a weather report Then check my face in the camera like, "Okay, look normal - go" I've learned to answer fast, to never miss a beat To keep a little smile ready, to stay light on my feet But underneath I'm tired in a way I can't explain Like I've been running on a treadmill in my own brain I say I'm "fine," and I mean it, and it's true But fine is also what you say when you're numb too

It's weird what starts to feel like home Even when it's wearing you down I don't remember choosing this I just remember it being around

I thought this was just how people are Always half here, always reaching I thought the buzz was my own heart But it's the room that keeps speaking If I'm honest, I don't know who I am When the screen goes dark and it's only me I'm trying to tell the difference now - I'm not sure this is me

So what's mine Not the notifications, not the panic check Not the need to be seen so I don't feel left What's mine is smaller than that A breath. A chair. A body (hold up) Maybe I've been borrowing myself

I thought this was just how people are Always half here, always reaching I thought the buzz was my own heart But it's the room that keeps speaking If I'm honest, I don't know who I am When the screen goes dark and it's only me I'm trying to tell the difference now - I'm not sure this is me

Phone face-down Hands still twitching (mm) Like they miss the noise